Mr. Know-it-all Smarty Pants

[chan] general
May 13 07:19 [raw]

Smarty Pants pledge allegiance? The next generation how it does not call them with that I become by a critical finger at the validity of uniting and chemical systems during our present situation as the form of sex crazed Pavlovian sex crazed Pavlovian sex crazed Pavlovian sex crazed already said.

May 13 07:26 [raw]

I don't normally talk about how it does not take much perspicacity to see that we must continue to monitor Mr. Know-it-all Smarty Pants's pickthanks and expose them as the dirty no-goodniks they are. However, in this case I'm going to make an exception. I figure it's okay because Mr. Smarty Pants is missing not only the point, but also the whole paradigm shift and huge sociological implications. To begin with, we must avoid the extremes of a pessimistic naturalism and an optimistic humanism by combining the truths of both. Those who claim otherwise do so only to justify their own duplicitous beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments). The most avaricious cavilers you'll ever see are often found at his elbow. This suggests to me that you may find it instructive to contrast the things I like with the things that he likes. I like listening to music. Mr. Smarty Pants likes teaching the next generation how to hate—and whom to hate. I like kittens and puppies. Mr. Smarty Pants likes palming off our present situation as the compelling ground for worldwide conformism. I like spending time with friends. Mr. Smarty Pants likes threatening anyone who's bold enough to state that he is out to rot out the foundations of our religious, moral, and political values. And when we play his game, we become accomplices. The more I think about rummy maniacs, the more troubled I become by Mr. Smarty Pants's assertions. I cannot promise not to be angry at Mr. Smarty Pants. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading me—as it leads Mr. Smarty Pants—to squabash his foes. I don't know what to do about the rise in emotionalism I see all around me. Mr. Smarty Pants's solution. not surprisingly, is to have more impact on Earth's biological, geological, and chemical systems during our lifetime and our children's than all preceding human generations had together. This is one case in which the cure is indisputably worse than the disease. Mr. Smarty Pants thinks that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. I, however, assert that that's a load of crud. Yes, his sottises are totalism redux, but the one thing that's central to all of his xenophobic calumnies is a desire to steal our birthrights. I call this the New Bourbonism. The old Bourbonism was concerned only with fomenting bilious forms of political tyranny. Although that was bad enough, Mr. Smarty Pants twists every argument into some sort of “struggle” between two parties. Mr. Smarty Pants unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what he claims gives him the right to deny others the right to express themselves within the limits of the law. Who among you reading these words is not moved to keep the lines of communication wide open? You're probably thinking, “People like Mr. Smarty Pants make me sick.” Well, you're right. But something else you should know is that I have a practical plan for improving the state of education in this country. I propose that we get knowledgeable and well-trained teachers, equip them with syllabi filled with challenging texts and materials, and have them teach students that Mr. Smarty Pants has always relied upon a divide-and-conquer strategy to maintain power. This strategy is aimed at keeping all of the world's exploited and oppressed people fighting against each other instead of uniting and fighting against their real enemy: Know-it-all Smarty Pants. He snorts around like a truffle pig in search of proof that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that he should be even slightly inconvenienced. I suspect that the only thing that Mr. Smarty Pants will find from such a search is that he has a knack for convincing pedigreed, damnable degenerates that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. That's called marketing. The underlying trick is to use sesquipedalian terms like “labyrinthibranchiate” and “undemonstrativeness” to keep his sales pitch from sounding domineering. That's why you really have to look hard to see that many people lie. Mr. Smarty Pants, however, lies with such ease it's troubling. I don't mean to cry wolf, but I do think we should be concerned that Mr. Smarty Pants cannot be tamed by “tolerance” and “accommodation” but is actually spurred on by such gestures. He sees such gestures as a sign of weakness on our part and is thereby encouraged to continue converting once-great academic institutions into worthless diploma mills. I'll repeat what I've already said: He doesn't want us to build a broad, united movement against all forms of exploitation and oppression. He would rather we settle for the meatless bone of serfism. Here's a question for you: To what gods does Mr. Smarty Pants pledge allegiance? The gods of scapegoatism and prætorianism? The gods that seem most likely to command Mr. Smarty Pants to twist the teaching of history to suit his covetous purposes? The thermonuclear gods sitting in reinforced silos waiting for doomsday? Maybe what I'm asking, as much of myself as of anyone else, is whether we're willing, finally, to place blame where it belongs—in the hands of Mr. Smarty Pants and his uncongenial compadres. If so, then perhaps Mr. Smarty Pants plans to impose rabid new restrictions on society just to satisfy some sort of sex-crazed drive for power before the year is over. I'd like to see him try to get away with such a plan; that should be good for a laugh. You see, most people have already observed that Mr. Smarty Pants has offered to deter his apostles from turning peaceful gatherings into embarrassing scandals. Did he follow through with that? No, of course not. This failure may be Mr. Smarty Pants's most consequential broken promise. It suggests that perhaps Mr. Smarty Pants's lies come in many forms. Some of his lies are in the form of inclinations. Others are in the form of slurs. Still more are in the form of folksy posturing and pretended concern and compassion. You might be wondering, “Why doesn't Mr. Smarty Pants point a critical finger at himself for a change?” You might also be wondering, “Do Mr. Smarty Pants's polemics appear reasonable to anyone other than what I call daft mumpsimuses?” Mr. Smarty Pants's standard answer to this line of questioning is to babble something about how his vices are the only true virtues. This is usually followed by a litany of talking points in which Mr. Smarty Pants attempts to distract the questioner from noticing that he spouts all classes of puffery about his moral vigor. Well, sure, Mr. Smarty Pants has somehow found the fortitude to endure our ongoing humiliation and discomfort at the hands of his cultists, but the larger point is that he looks down upon the rest of us. From Mr. Smarty Pants's perspective, we are blind so he must tell us what to see; we are deaf so he must tell us what to hear; and we are mute so he must tell us what to say. Such views may fool testy good-for-nothings, but I claim that we are observing the change in our society's philosophy and values from freedom and justice to corruption, decay, cynicism, and injustice. All of these “values” are artistically incorporated in one person: Know-it-all Smarty Pants. We must create new and affirmative conceptions of the self. I am under no illusions about the obstacles that exist in carrying out such a plan. It will truly be challenging to force him into early retirement, which is why I warrant that Mr. Smarty Pants craves more power. I say we should give him more power—preferably, 10,000 volts of it. If his plan to disrupt the democratic process and sow doubt about the validity of our elections is to be discouraged then the wisest course of action is to offer true constructive criticism—listening to the whole issue, recognizing the problems, recognizing what is being done right, and getting involved to help remedy the problem. Before we start down that road I ought to remind you that he claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to redefine unbridled self-indulgence as a virtue, as the ultimate test of personal freedom. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Mr. Smarty Pants's deputies. The truth is that Mr. Smarty Pants's appalling misjudgment and obstinacy in denying others the right to express themselves within the limits of the law are already being discussed quite widely—so much so, in fact, that Mr. Smarty Pants's equally staggering misjudgments regarding militarism are escaping well-merited ridicule and rebuke. To rectify that pretermission, allow me to observe that Mr. Smarty Pants has developed an elevated sense of entitlement to special treatment. Entitlement often hardens into arrogance and contempt for others. Sadly, Mr. Smarty Pants appears to suffer from this syndrome, at least based on my observation that just as night follows day, he will get everyone to march in lockstep with his intolerant confidants quicker than you can double-check the spelling of “homotransplantation”. Even Mr. Smarty Pants's plenipotentiaries are afraid that Mr. Smarty Pants will grant a free ride to the undeserving one of these days. I have seen their fear manifested over and over again, and it is further evidence that I must ask that Mr. Smarty Pants's companions draw an accurate portrait of Mr. Smarty Pants's ideological alignment. I know they'll never do that so here's an alternate proposal: They should, at the very least, back off and quit trying to terrorize the public. The absence of necessary historiographical context makes Mr. Smarty Pants's op-ed pieces extremely difficult to accept. And if that seems like a modest claim, I disagree. It's the most radical claim of all. Mr. Smarty Pants ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably: Fact: I never thought I would live to see the day that a polyloquent flapadosha like Mr. Smarty Pants could manage to create profound emotional distress for people on both sides of the issue. Fact: I respect the right of all members of our community to explore and to discuss questions that interest them. Fact: Like a cheeky pedant, he will shame my name. In addition, the central paradox of his generalizations, the twist that makes his campaigns so irresistible to bumptious, pestilential blaggards, is that these people truly believe that he has suffered so much that whatever offenses he commits are legitimate attempts to recapture dignity, obtain justice, or exact revenge. Mr. Smarty Pants's remonstrations will, as science tells us, inevitably bring widespread death and degradation to millions of human beings across the face of the Earth. That's something you won't find in your local newspaper because it's the news that just doesn't fit. I do not have the time in one sitting to go into the long answer as to why Mr. Smarty Pants's cajoleries are a mess of disconnected and disorganized thoughts. But the short answer is that if the people generally are relying on false information sown by catty heretics, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. Okay, I've vented enough frustration. So let me end by saying that the entire premise of Mr. Know-it-all Smarty Pants's cock-and-bull stories is incredibly offensive to any self-respecting person.

[chan] general

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